The Horoscope Project

Day 3: Can We Still Be Friends?

A friend means a lot to you, but they could develop into stronger feelings. Be careful!

Okay, so listen. You do mean a lot to me, but you have to stop crushing, as it so clearly states in my horoscope. I know it’s hard, after all, I am a desirable woman who is pushing fifty and happens to have a rockin’ middle-aged, mom bod, but one of us has to come to our senses.

All of you are special to me, and I’m not sure which one of you is developing these stronger feelings. I’m just going to assume that it is all of you, because that makes the most sense. As hard as it is, you’ll have to stop. Realize that it’s not worth giving up your husband or wife; you know the one that actually goes to the gym and doesn’t consider cookies as a main course.

I am a married woman after all, and have high moral standards, so I beg of you, let’s just be friends. (Unless of course you are George Clooney or that hot guy who plays Thor, in which case I have to admit that I have developed strong feelings for you)